Bruised and totally beat up

i am tired.
once in a while this feeling of intense desperation comes creeping in, sending cold shivers to the already beat up soul. woke up this morning with a totally dim notion of life, of living, and of that dreadful curiosity of what is it like to be dead, to be entirely free of the concerns of the world, to simply lie with both hands laid in the chest as if to say i only have myself to care about, the same gesture that means indifference and of that resolute i dont care attitude.

i am tired.
i want to scream. i want to go somewhere far to a place where no one knows me, and no one wants to come near me. the leper shouts for understanding, the weary shouts for the same. the circumstances are different but the same piece of humanity from within the leper and the weary wants the same thing. understanding. in different contexts. i want peace, and quiet, and the understanding that i don't want any human contact as of the moment. i need peace. i need silence. somewhere in this crazy world, there must be that corner where there's just me and nothing else.

i am tired.
and i welcome rest. somewhere, somehow, there must be a place.