lately, i have been...

october 29
wallowing in boredom, eating a lot, and sleeping like a log.
see, some creature borrowed my officekeys last thursday. wasnt able to retrieve them, or she did not return them is more appropriate to say. and so i had no laptop to work on last weekend. also, i wasnt able to get the research papers i had to edit, what a waste of time really! i was soooooooo bored. eating and sleeping were the only things left to do (my eyes hurt so much last weekend so i had to keep away from books and the tv).
in the afternoon, i dont know where i got the guts, i opened my closet, brought out my old but fave stuffs, and tried them on (see, i am really so excited over leaving!) only to realize what a piggy i am now! the realization had me doing some exercises this morning, hurray!

october 27
hating the world for not giving me 35k!
tina, ethel, renato and i, after meeting in school, proceeded to victoria plaza. what a wonderful day it had been! i had always loved VP for its simplicity. we sent tina's and ethel's money, dined in Flyover fronting VP, went to Anda to savor some durian and headed to cats and dogs to unleash the singer in us. cats and dogs however was fully occupied and so, with al's invitation, we went to wudkraf in matina. and geez, i thought the god adonis has climbed down from his pedestal to live with us humans. he was so gorgeous, every inch of him. and except that his complexion was fair, he could have been the very definition of the man of my dreams!

october 25
trying to gain experience, or so i thought!
not that i wanted to join the fieldwork for experience, heck, i have been into a lot of field tasks since i was 16! i was there since it was part of my job though, correct me if i am mistaken, i think i am only into research publication as per record given to me by the HRD. i really do not want to whine, only desperate and fixated people do that, as JL once said, but really- as far as i could remember- it wasn't me who wanted some experience in the field. the straw that actually broke the camel's back is the lovely sight i caught just when i was so overly starved. i saw the boss, the one who actually craved for experience in the field, comfortably seated in one of the benches, the towering tree rendered him shade against the prickling heat of the midday sun. i could almost hear myself calling the cow holy!


leaving on a jet plane...soon.

things that are hard to live without:
1) maki
2) the everyday cat-dog scenario with the housemate
3) my mk
4) the internet
5) cielo, zoe, gedd
6) the laptop, the movie/series collection, the magazines in the bathroom
7) jmr, barbs, yessa, mel, juan, bobong
8) pansit canton

the things i'd miss doing:
1) the daily chaotic adventure in waking up a going big boy
2) tug-of-war with maki in strength and in wits
3) teaching one baby boy and three baby girls
4) the every now and then cold war with the housemate
5) the daily commute
6) budgetting
7) doing the grocery
8) the ukay-ukay
9) movie marathon
10)fighting with madz edith

books to buy to while away the time:
1) sophie's world by jostein gaarder (i lost my copy when a friend from college borrowed it and never returned...i wish he/she gets to read this and feel the urge to contact me. just in case, the number is 09108119197 ("/,).
2) the count of monte cristo by alexandre dumas. i love the writer and i love his masterpieces. too bad though his works can't be found in 2nd hand bookshops.
3) the alchemist by paulo coelho- have read the story twice but i think i need the passion of santiago in chasing dreams, just in case one day i'd feel the weight of the world and decide to turn back.

life's like that... one has to brave the tide to reach a dream.


bloody pathetic...

this institution is so!

pathetic toward almost everything that is humane.
they think as if their titles could save them from being the blood-thirsty animals they have become over the years, their abundance has turned them so.

tina babes
manang ethel
barbs, mel, yesa, bobong and edon
to everyone who's left this institution with a heavy heart
and to everyone who cries for justice...

they'll have their share one of these days.



from tabs to blogspot
some entries i don't want to let go...

kacheeks and the rest of the neopets species
from the amor vincit omnia category
posted July 2, 2007

i have encountered the kacheeks because of cielo. if not for her i would not even know that such virtual creatures abound and that neopets.com is one of the most visited websites by pre-teens today. thanks to this tutee i now have an account in neopets.

u think i am too old for virtual pets, huh? i'd daresay i'm not, because kacheeks and the other neopets characters are the latest designs for the customized pins we sell (with my partner sir bong). we gots loads of orders, and i am sooooooo thrilled about this. u know why? because these kacheeks and other characters bring out the child in me that is often suppressed, hidden and unattended.

party PARTY party!
from the amor vincit omnia category
posted June 27, 2007

it's gedd's bday!

she just turned 1 yesterday. the party was filled with fun as mom dot's hands were busy with the preparation for months, yes, months. the oh-so-great-mother that she is, she has been planning her 3rd child's birthday since january. in fact, she even ordered a few items from abroad just to suit gedd's bday theme.

i don't really like strawberry shortcake but my opinion does not matter. i'm no kiddie and so i don't have much to say about cartoons and kiddie stuffs. however, when it comes to parties, and if it's their party, then it is also my party.

june 12 we had to sort the candies and freebies for the loot bags. planning for games, packing prizes, and preparing the giveaways are always my turf when it's cielo's, zoe's, and gedd's party. what a job! those cutie items surely delighted the kids that came.

the food was great and the decoration was simple yet elegant. there were princesses as the emcees for the games and even barney came. oh what a delight for zoe who did not even wink all throughout the 30mins that barney was there.

there's so much ahead of you, geddi. tichi wut wish u the best.

maki turns 5!
from the amor vincit omnia category
posted June 27, 2007

the angel turns five, and everyone wishes him the best. for a child, the world is such full of wonders and that every year he/she turns older he/she thinks he's/she's able to comprehend more of the world in which he lives in. at five, he is already knowledgeable of the different colors and shapes (mind u, he learned the basic and secondary colors at age 3 as well as the shapes) and its spelling. it is a wonderful thing when u are able to witness the growth of a child. i can not help but marvel at how, every single day that the sun shines, he learns a thing or two. he is very inquisitive that for one who is not accustomed to having a child as talkative as he is he would be one who deserves timeout. for maki and the inquirer in him, for the dreams he has and the energy to do everything that he does, kudos!

Agents of Change
from i have been through worse category
posted June 27, 2007

lately i have been dragging my days to pass. i know this would set gayedelle's mood off, she hates it when one simply exists. her voice still echoes as she lectured me on the difference of existing and living several years back *oh yes, more than 10 years already.* I know i sound bloody pathetic today *so early in the morning, geez, it's only 15 past 10,* but believe me, i deserve to be so, just for now until the weekend's over.

physical change new office next week. am not so happy of this so-called lateral transfer but i am looking forward to having a new table come monday next week. i passed by the Research Office yesterday and saw how meager a space we have. i tell myself that in a few month's time, the rest of the reaserch staff and i will be in the new building at the third floor *whew, so happy to hear there would be an elevator, or else these poor legs would be so darned tired each day*. oh yeah, ms rauly told me my computer in the new office sucks. i can't tell if i have patience for slow responding pc's but i guess i have to do some dirty work once i get there.

new office, new workmates, new boss... i will surely have difficulty adjusting, whew!
chemical change and its reactionsi can't be late, my mind screams. now i have to make plans on how to get up early, move a little briskly in the morning, and reach the office on time. three years of being the worst of this school's late comers, i am almost near panic state now. can't take too much coffee and energy drinks anymore these days. for one who's dependent on caffeine, this is a big blow.

chemical change would also refer to the bonding times i spend with the elearning people over pizza. surely the body would miss the fun, not just of the food *mind u, i am petite and don't look like one who overeats, wink* but of the seasoning friendship produces *which is of course more effective than the msg*.

lateral transfer...
from i have been through worse category
posted June 17, 2007

is there such a thing?

i wish i still have omar's number... i guess ayik is so busy now, what with his all-around participation for bm... or would jeppie be interested and listen?

for days already i have been pre-occupied with the thought of lateral transfer. i am not even sure if such a thing exists in the labor code. it's a pity atty's em-em and joshua are not here. their brilliant minds could have lighten my already hazy thoughts. even the scatter-brained (a former professor once referred to her that way) nogie could help me figure things out if she were only here in davao.

see, a lot of people from the same institution where i am working have been transferred to another department. this could be explained by the recent change in the organizational structure of the school. the hrd officer explains that the transfer of these people is lateral, meaning they only have to transfer from one office to another with the same rate as remuneration. i don't think the transfer is because there is simply no place for them as a result of the adjustment made to the structure. because if we take a closer look to the issue, we would see that while they were transferred against their will the positions they vacated are left open and for hiring. this is of course against the philosophy behind lateral transfer.

if you ask me about the issue, these people (including myself) have been observed to be efficient in their tasks and are therefore worthy to be trusted with more tasks, and so the transfer. what the admin fail to see, however (although i believe they simply deny the fact), is that with efficiency comes a price they have to pay. in my case, it is evident that they are after something which i possess (like the ability to write some trash on top of my affiliations with some NGOs and funding agencies). from the mouth of one of the minds of all these confusion "pls help the college". duh, it is not as if the college is losing, in fact the college continues to prosper. but i have said my piece, "i'm working for the dough, not for charity."

of course, because if i was into doing some pro bono then i should have continued serving under the ugnayan ng pahinungod of up. there, fulfillment would be genuine.

goodbye is never easy
from i have been through worse category
posted June 17, 2007

i'm now bidding goodbye to my boss and my friends in this department. three years of being with them, it seems like i have known them really well. and though we're not the best of friends, no we have not elevated the relationship to that level yet, but the thing is, it is always nice to go to the office knowing that these people are always there, just a pm/ym away. we could shout at each other, blame each other, fight (even wrestle) with each other, but those moments when we were not so unified as a group are the ones i would miss the most next to eating hot pizza.

i just love everyone in the e-learning department, starting from my boss who has his own world, to yessa who could stare at the mirror for hours and who always has fashion in her brain, to melody who is extremely quiet on occassions but whose comments are more important than that of barbz' words which are always dispensable and excusable. but mind you, it is barbz who saves the group from dull moments, what with his antics against yessa and her dogs.

three years and i was already thinking of some change in my career. last semester i was discussing the theme to a group of friends from grad school. it was not a very serious discussion then. but now that the change is coming, fast and unsolicited, i am very reluctant to go and leave the group. i'd surely miss everyone.

this is crazy. this is overly dramatic. i am just transferring to a different department. it's just in another building. but i feel like i am going to some distant place where no one and nothing is familiar. i know who my new boss is but there's just no replacing the comedic jmr. the letter says it's a lateral transfer and so the better part of me says there is nothing to worry about... some old stuffs are to be expected. but something is telling me that no, it is not, that there is something more, in fact, that there are a lot more that have not been told yet.

whatever they are, i am not so interested in thinking of them just as yet. i know they will unfold in their own time. for now i am still mending this worrying heart and am still trying to look for a medicine to separation anxiety.


davaosale.com and the art of rhetoric

haggling, cajoling, these are but two of the skills i have learned ever since i joined davaosale.com. it may seem a bit more of a task than the usual trading- what with all the meet up, prices and warranty negotiations- but the experience just suits every one whose budget is a bit restricted, or even one who simply wants what his/her money is worth.

rhetoric, or the ability to persuade, is easier when taken in as a concept rather than as an act. the disourse has to be contextualized, arguments (arrangements, in this matter) be properly planned and regulated lest you lose the bid, and one has to be witty and be able to live up to the challenge that governs the entire transaction. patience has to be stretched, and negotiations have to be fast. in the end, you take note of the bad and good DS members and put them in separate baskets.

i have had my share of good and bad transactions in davaosale. luckily, the bad ones are just minor incidents- just like when u lose the item to another buyer who has hard cold cash on hand, like you lose to another buyer in just a matter of minutes or an hour.

most of my experience in davaosale though are good ones and worth relating to friends. they wonder how i could come up with best buys from DS. i guess the secret is that i never engage into business right away, i check the background of the member, and make sure that i could contact him/her when the need arises. not that this is the surest part of making good transactions but at least it serves me well.

for now, i'm off to meeting another DS member, good luck to me!


how do I love thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

This particular verse by Elizabeth Barrett Browning never fails to inspire me as i go on with life, love, and faith. When i was a sophomore we read a lot of verses and this one instantly became a favorite. I wondered if i would ever experience the depth and sincerity described by the poet, whether by giving or taking love. The love that is portrayed here seems too good to be true, if not impossible, and i would admit to doubting the meaning of each lines and accounting them to the verbosity of the author.

But still, whether this is an honest expression of one's feelings or simply a product of a prolific mind, i'd still say that this poetry made me yearn to find that one great love who could make me look at life wonderfully in spite of all its contradictions: to see light whether it be coming from the sun or from a candle, to feel like it is a right, to breathe, to smile, to cry, and to even love even after death.


who's talking?

i'm glad i have gotten myself a new blog!

after that fateful attempt to give my old tabulas a facelift which later on gave way to its untimely death, i haven't had the chance to post my daily thoughts. i went through that process of grieving, and i found it hard to start anew. it was like losing my bestfriend, all thanks to my audacious nature.

it was i who ended my tabulas, and i regret it. each day i open my tabs, praying that the genius in me would be able to trace its steps back and salvage Expressions. for a time i tried to recapture what was once a glorious collection of random thoughts, emotional ramblings, and even this writer's blocks. the frustration is mixed with regret, with hopelessness, with lack of sensation, until the soul surrenders. it is only when one gives up the past that one lives on his present and moves to the future i suppose.

so who's talking?

chikadee might have played mute for a while, but there is no telling that the girl has not reserved her thoughts. all those moments of not being able to write down everything that was worthwhile typing will be relived as the writer tries to relive the days. there's just so much to write about, and i miss my old self when i only had to turn to my blog and pour in the day's glee, or document the anguish, or just simply live the moment. to my blogspot, kudos! may you live for long.