maligayang pasko at masayang 2008!

ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin ng pasko? minsan kasi naa-associate lang natin ang pasko sa bakasyon, sa mga regalo, sa mga gimik ng pamilya at barkada. lately though, simula nung umalis ako at nagpakalayo nag iba na ang tingin ko sa mga bagay-bagay.

katulad ng pasko. napaisip tuloy ako sa kung ano talaga ang kahulugan nito. eh di ba't ito yung araw na ipinanganak si Kristo, so hindi pala dapat na tayo ang bigyan ng aginaldo dahil hindi naman natin kaarawan ang december 25. wala, napaisip lang ako.

anyway, happy new year to all! hmmm... time to make new year's resolutions na naman. ano nga ba ang magandang resolusyon? ang ayaw ko sa sarili ko lately ay yung pagiging "player" in many fields. sige na nga, by 2008 i will take things slowly and seriously. ano pa ba ang mga dapat kong baguhin sa sarili ko? yung pagiging latecomer ko nga pala, yung mabilisang pagbabago ng isip ko, at ang pagka "empty-head" ko when it comes to directions. absent yata ako nung nag discuss kami ng map-reading sa klase, but anyhow i must learn to find my direction (in truth, di ko pa rin kayang umalis ng bahay na mag isa at pumunta sa suki naming net cafe, whew, what an indiot i am sometimes talaga!).

so much for resolutions. i am sure i could hardly make all of those din naman. but i'll try.

have a happy 2008 everyone!

waiting for thursday

i wish it were thursday already, my mind screams.

thursdays are ultra special to me lately. for one, thursday is the last day of the working week. fridays and saturdays i am off to bond with my bed, my laundry, and of course the internet. this coming thursday however is a bit more special than the usual because then i would end my contract here. i know it is wrong to wait for days to come by. i also know that every minute is important as it can't be brought back. but nonetheless, i also know that i am not so happy being here, being far from the people i know, and from the place that i have started to learn how to live in.

by thursday, in shallah, i will hand over all my reports and responsibilities to the kabayan who has given me the opportunity to have a taste of UAE work. and by thursday, in shallah, i could get a hold of the promised and most-awaited reward. really, may the lord allow such a thing to happen this thursday and not later than that.

i may feel like this week is a long stretch. sunday, monday i have to work. tuesday is new year and i am not so sure how i would celebrate the coming of another year, then comes wednesday when kabayan comes back to work then thursday for goodbyes. i really can't wait.

i am about to end a chapter of my life and begin with another. as i end my stint here in abu dhabi this coming thursday, another page is coming up. friday and saturday as i said will be bonding with my bed, my laundry and the internet, and come sunday i will be occupying another room, sit in another chair, and meet new associates. in shallah, everything will be fine for me. al hamdulillah!

missing maki

been here for more than a month. that's more than a month of being far from maki.

if there ever is a person i miss so much, it would be him. the rest of them back in there are important too, but i have grown used to being far from them such that these days do not mean so much of homesickness to me. except when i think of maki.

five years old, so lively and manipulative, maki is the one thing i could not live without. each passing day i always think of him, how he fares in school, what toys is he playing, what he does at this moment, and so many other things yet. i worry about his baon to school, about his assignments, his exams, and these are the moments when i wish i were there in our old place, teaching him his lessons and playing with him until late at night.

i miss the smile he flashes when asked if mother and son look the same. i miss those times when he would simply sit on a corner and tinker on his toys, or when he watches cartoons and racing movies. i miss cradling him. i carried him to sleep a few months back, and though he was heavy i was still able to sing him songs from his early childhood. there is this song i always sang when he was young. and growing up, he has come to memorize the song. it really feels so good that this child had this song associated to me and that over the years, he has come to love this particular song.

there are a lot more i could say about maki. but remembering him, the time i spent with him, and the time i did not spend with him, send a bullet through my heart, each time crushing me and breaking me down. i miss him. so much that it hurts.

december 15, saturday

i got three interviews on this day.

met ice at the crown plaza (sa labas lang po ("/,) in sheikh zayed road. had an interview at 10am. he was half-greek and half-arab (not so half-god). he was so gentle it makes u feel like u'd want to work in the company. old and balding, he was soft-spoken like a dad, and so concerned of everyone's welfare (like he asked me how ice and i got to golden diamond plaza because true enough, it is a far place).

the second interview ice and i skipped. we just felt so tired that we wanted to get back to the hustle and bustle of the big city. we hiked, hitched, rode a bus, and got lost. that was it. we went down on the round-about at trade center, rode another bus, intending to get to pizza hut but traffic was so crazy we reached the desert. so much for thrill and excitement! we had lots of pictures though, and we have a picture of our tired feet.

and then we met imran and he brought us back to deira. the seasoned-driver proved to be so much of a help in finding the location of the third and final interview. lo and behold! i got the job. life's pretty much exciting and fun afterall.

God is good.

really, i always feel God wherever i go.

there are times when i wonder why i do not worry about things when other people with a situation the same as mine worry. for example, going here. it seemed as if it was written, maktub as it was said by Santiago in the Alchemist. i didnot worry too much, everything seemed to fall in its place. maybe i wanted to come here so bad that all in the universe conspired for me to reach this place.

and then there's the race to find a job. barely 10 days old in this queer place and i found a job somewhere in the next emirate. it's just a releiving post actually, but i have not even finished the thing when i got a call for a job after the 4th of january. this saturday i will be handing over my passport, visa, and all other pertinent documents for the processing and completion of my employment visa. that's it. things just fall in its place.

all these time i feel the hand of God working in my life: protecting me, guiding me, guarding me. and though i am not so expressive of my love for Him, He knows i do believe in Him.

indeed, God is good.